Above all.
ann@karmabox September 27th, 2007
What advice would I give new parents? Oh, where on my massive list would I possibly start? In reality, every kid, parent, and family is different so any advice I found useful for my kids probably wouldn’t apply to theirs. I did hear one on the radio this evening that really struck me. A teacher called in and said that one of the things she does when a child does something wrong to another child in addition to having him or her apologize is to have that child ask for forgiveness. It teaches them to seek forgiveness for their wrongs and the other child learns to forgive. There’s more to it than just words of course, I’m just summarizing.
To let go of your pride and forgive. I find it effortless to forgive my children, it’s part of the unconditional love thing. I can even forgive other children, after all they are still learning and have years of mistakes to make. The difficulty lies in forgiving adults who should in all respects, know better. I’m talking about adults who I know and trusted - strangers are easy to forgive and forget. Then I realized that I am still learning and still have many years of mistakes to make. I have to do my part and seek forgiveness from others. Another good time to let go of silly ol’ pride.
So I guess forgiveness is a two way street involving a conscious decision to seek and/or give forgiveness. And then to go on together a little wiser and pretend like none of it ever happened. Then over time, we will truly be at peace with it and “forget.” A simplistic view perhaps, but I think it sums it up.
It’s such a freeing experience. I wish I learned this earlier in my life. I would have found joy a lot sooner and probably kept and developed deeper friendships. Only God knows where I could be now if only I hadn’t insisted on lugging my baggage with me. Forgiveness may be the biggest lesson I pass down to my children.
Blessings,
+ann
P.S. Always tell your children that you will love them forever - no matter what they do. You may think they already know, but they need to be reminded. My kids aren’t afraid to tell me anything even if they know they will get in trouble for it. They usually start confessions with, “I know you will always love me no matter what.” Smart kids, they know it forces me to remain calm and listen rationally.
